I’d like to tell you my amazing story about our son, David and his bride, Alexis Rose Kropp Abramovitz whom were recently married.

David moved to Charlotte, N.C. a few years after graduating from RIT - primarily to escape the Rochester winters! It was there that he met Alexis. Two years ago while visiting them and Alexis’s family for Chanukah, we all witnessed their engagement. After their seven year courtship, on November 5, 2011, they became husband and wife.

While this story is certainly about their romance, it’s also very much about my journey as mother of the groom. Three years ago while recovering from breast cancer, my doctors began testing to see why I was having lingering side effects from my extensive treatments. It took over a year before they diagnosed it as ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which is a progressive, debilitating, and incurable disease that slowly robs you of motor functioning.

At first, my progression was quite slow, but it was becoming clear by Spring 2011 that I might not physically be able to go to North Carolina for the wedding. The disease had already progressed to the point that I was wheelchair bound most of the time, required special assistance for my personal care and I tired easily. So many questions swirled in my head: “Could I travel that distance by car or plane? How would I make sure that all the special equipment and personal help were available for me down there? Would my stamina allow me to even participate in all the weekend wedding events?”

By late summer I knew that my dream of attending my son’s wedding was slipping away. After many painful conversations and shedding many tears, it was decided that my husband, Les, would go the wedding alone as he was David’s Best Man. I was devastated but being the former Director of the Ombudsman Program at Lifespan for many years and now being tightly linked into the ALS Association Upstate New York Chapter, I began to creatively work out a plan with all my friends and community resources to find a way to be part of this special day.

In the end, technology saved the day! Through the magic of Apple’s iPad and the Skype program, I was part of every moment of David and Alexis’s wedding. Eleven of my friends and family spent the day with me. As mother of the groom, I was a knock-out with my beautiful “mother of the groom” dressy top, hairdo and makeup. With the iPad in my husband’s hand at all times and Skype uploaded on our 40” widescreen TV, I had the best seat in the house! I was there for the private wedding party ceremony witnessing the signing of the Ketubah (marriage contract). I read the “Mother’s Prayer on the Day of Her Son’s Wedding” (an ancient and very emotional prayer). I had pre-recorded a tape delivering many wishes for the bride and groom as my speech can be slow and halting at times. The intimacy I felt knowing that everyone could see and hear me through the iPad was something I’ll never forget. I could see the tears on the checks of my new daughter-in-law.

For the formal wedding, the iPad allowed me to be in my husband’s hand as he (we) walked David down the aisle. I stood under the Chuppah (bridal canopy) with everyone. I heard the vows, saw the ring exchange, and saw my son look at me with joy and sadness. The Rabbi acknowledged my presence. I no longer was aware of my handicaps. I had attended my son’s wedding! Through the pure joy of this special day, it became clear to me that the focus of weddings should not be about the party, the venue or the food. The sheer sacredness of marriage and love is the true focus. My prayer for all of you is that the next wedding you attend you’ll remember my story. The true bond of marriage is tested in many ways over the years. In case you missed it, this story is also about my marriage to Les. What other husband would carry his “iPad wife” all day in his hands and also carry me in his heart always?

Written by Ronni Abramovitz